The discovery of an affair is by far the most devastating trauma a relationship can experience. Often, the “participant” feels deep shame, regret and fear that he/she will “lose every person” he/she loves. The non-participant feels as if he/she is in free fall. Every moment shared prior to the disclosure comes into question. According to a 1998 survey by researchers at the University of Chicago, about 25 percent of married men and 17 percent of married women in the United States ADMIT to infidelity. The noted author Shirley Glass' research suggests it is probably closer to 25 percent of women and 40 to 50 percent of men.
You are not alone!
It may seem hard to believe but a marriage can survive an affair. Several studies have demonstrated that couples who recover from an affair can come out of the experience even stronger! Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy is a highly specialized form of Marriage Counseling backed by over 25 years of research with unprecedented success rates. Over 90% of couples completing EFT therapy experience significant improvement, often in just a few sessions. There are many stages that you will experience as each of you ride this emotional roller coaster of recovery. You can heal this and save your marriage.
When I found out my husband had been having an affair for over five years, I literally felt the ground come out from under me. EVERYTHING I knew was called into question. I felt like I was in "free fall." I would ask questions, only to have the same questions come up in a different format the next day - What did she look like? Did you think of me? Did you love her? I looked at pictures and thought - "WAIT! he was sleeping with someone else while having his arm around me in this photo of our daughter's wedding!" I thought I was losing my mind!
Angela helped my husband to understand the depth of his betrayal. She made it possible for him to access his deep remorse, but also to help him talk about what led to his infidelity. She helped him be patient, loving and responsive to me when all I had for him was ANGER! Most importantly, she helped us take a hard, profoundly deep and necessary look at what made our marriage susceptible to an affair.
I never thought it possible, but we did heal. Moving through this (as Angela calls it) "trauma" to our relationship, helped us to become real, honest, self reflective and closer. We did not know how far apart we were, until we a lost each other. I have so much gratitude for Angela ad for Emotionally Focused Therapy - truly!
B&T - Essex Fells, NJ